Two onions to ABSA bank.

Two onions to ABSA bank.

Lois has had an ABSA credit card for a few years which has mainly been used as a savings account (a positive balance used to give a good interest rate). We have been meaning to close it down for a few months, and last Saturday we finally managed to get to a branch and do so.

The first problem was walking into the ABSA branch at Blue Route. They only had a small revolving door, which Lois and her dog struggled to get through. When I asked them how a wheel chair would get through – I was told that you had to bang on the glass and they would open the emergency exit for you.

The second problem is that when we tried to close the account, the bank assistant had to phone their card division in Johannesburg to close the account. The phone call took about ½ hour, with us standing at the information desk, with no explanation whatsoever as to what was taking so long. We didn’t even know they she was on the phone – she simply disappeared (we thought she had taken a tea break – maybe she did!).

The third problem was that they were unable to directly transfer the remaining balance into a Standard Bank current account (however you can do it via their Internet banking site).  Surely in the 21st century – modern banking world they can do that! They had to draft a bank cheque in our name. Needless to say – we had to stand in a separate queue to collect the cheque. They also told us that there would be a fee of about R30 to draft the cheque – so they deducted the amount before making out the cheque. Hence the final balance would in theory be zero.

About two days later, ABSA phoned Lois to tell her that there was (surprise surprise) a positive balance in the account, and what would she like to do with it? It appears that they waive the cheque fee when closing an account, and hence the balance was positive. They agreed to post a cheque to Lois and close the account, which brings us to the fourth and final problem.

The final problem is that yesterday we received a letter in the post “your account has been closed…please find enclosed a cheque for the open balance…..”. Guess what – no cheque!

There is a reason that we have closed all accounts with ABSA – it’s because you really have no idea about modern banking and customer service (I am not even going to go into the Bond fiasco of a few years ago).

Because of this, you are the proud recipient of two onions.

(a copy of this post has been sent to

Update 1:

ABSA have contacted Lois, apologised and promised to resend the cheque asap. Lets see what happens.

Update 2:

ABSA have sent us the cheque along with a written apology. Thank you ABSA.

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